I have been with my boyfriend for eight months. I have stood by and watched him blow through his money month after month. He makes close to 1,500 per month (after taxes) and when it’s time to pay his rent he has to take out a payday advance to cover it. This is an ongoing cycle that could easily be broken with responsibility. I need to know how I can confront him without sounding like I’m controlling him. Other than his poor spending habits; we have a good relationship and we plan on moving in together in one more year. I, of course, can’t plan a future with a man that can only live in the “now” and not even save enough money to cover his rent, let alone save money for a home with me in the future. So, how can I approach this without the “nagging” or “controlling” that men like to label you with when you are only trying to help?
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just be like, I noticed lately that you have been spending alot of money, im worried you’re in debt…
You could suggest that as you are intending to set up home together, it might be a good idea if you BOTH start saving money towards it. That way you are suggesting a joint venture rather than sounding like it’s his problem.
Exact amounts should obviously be proportional to your earnings.
Make a list of things any new home/flat would need, in case he tries to brush the idea off. Make it as hard as possible for him to turn down the idea by showing how much you’ve thought about it and how much it means to you.
The more reasonable you make it sound, the harder time he will have refusing.
i think that personally the best way to talk with him about this is speaking to him directly. if u r sugar coat ur words, he will not take u seriously or understand, and u will end up with the situation once more.
u need to b direct and to the point but not necessarily harsh. if he is still not understanding u, then u need to b blunt with him.
if this man will not understand ur reason, then he is not a good person to spend the rest of ur life with, im sorry
he may b amazing, but if he will not listening to u, he is not good enough for a longterm relation.
please answer mine??.;_ylv=3?qid=20090501171211AAArnF9
Whatever you decide I would keep your money to yourself and not in any joint account. He could blow it all & your rent wouldn’t be paid.
As it is he sounds like he is trapped in the payday loan cycle which is a nightmare.